In Memorium: Eulogy for My Grandmother (1910-2005)

Below I have posted the eulogy for my Grandmother; today, March 7, is the one year anniversary of her passing. She was a much loved lady, and lived a full and rich life.

Eulogy for Rose Chipps
March 12, 2005
by Rebecca Eagleson
Rose Christina Hansen Chipps was born December 11, 1910 in Wallbach (WAHL-BACK), Nebraska to Peter and Johanna Marie Hansen. Rose was the middle daughter; she had an older sister, Seena, and a younger sister, Ella. Her parents were members of a Danish community, and she spoke Danish until she began formal schooling at age five. She spent the majority of her childhood and girlhood on a farm, and, even in her advanced years, retained memories of some of the major and minor events of the decade. Grandma once told me a story about herself and her sister Seena staying up one New Year’s Eve, breathlessly anticipating the arrival of the year 1919. My brother, Andrew, was absolutely delighted to hear that Grandma remembered Kaiser Wilhelm. She also spoke of the troops coming home from WWI by train through St. Louis.
Sadly, Rose and her sisters lost both of their parents while young teenagers. Rose graduated from high school as Valedictorian, and at age seventeen, began to teach at a small country school. She taught for two years before beginning college at Kearny State Teacher’s college in Kearny, NE. In 1932, she met her future husband Larry Chipps. In 1933, they were married in the Methodist pastor‘s house, attended only by the cleaning maid and the pastor’s wife.
I once asked Grandma about how she met grandfather, and it is worth noting her response. She told me rather vaguely that they met in teacher’s college, but, as I later found out, there was more to the story than that. Apparently, Larry Chipps was what was known back then as “diffident,” or shy, and Sister Ella’s beau decided to set them up on a blind date. At this time, Rose was a very beautiful woman, but also very tall. Larry was so flustered when he saw her that Ella’s beau had to give Larry a push up the stairs as Rose was coming down the stairs.
I asked Grandma later why she married Larry, as he was so shy and quiet.
With a mischievous twinkle in her eye, she responded, “Well, he just kept on coming, and I sorta got used to him!”
The Depression was on in their early married life, and as a result, Rose never finished college. Larry and Rose both began teaching school. One particularly desperate summer, the newlyweds lived in a tent, while Larry worked for the W.P.A . For dinner, he shot pheasants, geese, and possums. The Chipps’s began their family in 1939, and in 1940, they purchased a farm in Ewing, NE. They had two sons and two daughters. First came Ron, then Lyle, then Linda (my mother), and finally, Macrayla. Rose was always a hard worker, active in both the community and on the farm. She held a position with the Ladies Aide Society and also as a Sunday School teacher. In 1956, the Chipps’s sold the farm, and headed West to California.
Life became rather lively for the Chipps family in California, as the children were now in their teen years. Rose managed to hold down a job as a duplex manager as well as assist Larry with his maintenance business. Time passed, and her children grew into young adulthood. In the 1960s, her children began to leave the nest and acquire spouses. Rose then found a new job that she loved. At Alum Rock Covenant Church, where she attended up until her death, Rose began to teach the two and three year old children their Sunday School lessons. This position gave her great delight and much pleasure; she dearly loved the children that she taught. She held this position until she was well into her seventies, when she reluctantly gave it up.
In the 1970s, the grandchildren began to come, all within six years. They are, in chronological order, Dendra, Rebecca, Chris, Carlos, and Andrew. It was, once again, a lively house when the grandchildren came to visit as we were so close in age. Of course, this also meant that we collectively found mischief, and grandma was always there to patch us up and sooth our bruises. I recall that one night, I was sleeping in the “bouncy bed,” which was popular with the grandkids because it was spring-loaded, and there was a rather strong earthquake. I was a very tiny child, so I was easily tossed off the bed and smashed face first into the hard-wood floor. I cut my chin pretty badly, and grandma rather stoically cleaned me up and put me back to bed. Grandma always had a way of soothing the unquiet minds of little children; I expect it was because of her long experience teaching. There was always a generous supply of cookies, and let’s not forget her famous apple pie. She was always a “hostess by stealth,” preferring to sit back and let other people talk while she beamed quietly in the corner.
One of Grandma’s most favorite days was on a fine August day in 1983. As the Chipps’s had never had a formal wedding reception, the family got together a large 50th wedding anniversary celebration. There were friends and family attending from years back, and there was even a large wedding cake. Grandma always cherished this event, and kept a picture of her and her husband on her mantelpiece, taken on this momentous day. Three years later, Larry passed away, and Rose began the next epoch of her life.
In these last years, Rose lived alone in the family house on Golf Drive, taking much pleasure in working in the garden, attending church, and keeping house. A stub-tailed cat named Katie adopted Rose, and became her resident lap-warmer and entertainer. She received regular visits from children, grandchildren, and church members. Her daughter, Macrayla Evans, visited her daily on her lunch breaks from work to make sure she was doing well and eating properly. She also lived with Rose for a short time. Over the years, Rose became increasingly forgetful and absent-minded, but never forgot those grandkids! In February of 2004, Rose’s first great-grandchild, Alyssa Chipps, was born to Chris and Shannon Chipps.
In the 1990s, Linda moved out of state. Macrayla and Ron began to care for Mom, helping her with yardwork and other duties around the house. Macrayla took her grocery shopping, and later on, when Rose’s strength began to fail, did the shopping for her. Ron left for New Mexico, and Macrayla took over all of Rose’s care. She commuted from Modesto to San Jose for her job and checked daily on Rose. It would be a stressful time for both Mac and Grandma, as Grandma was increasingly unaware of how much help she needed. Mac tried all methods known to mankind to make sure that Grandma took her medications on schedule, but grandma would miss whole days because she was so forgetful. Mac would set up doctor’s appointments only to find out later that Rose had cancelled them when the office called to remind her of her appointments; Mac often took off time from work to take her to appointments. Mac bought her new clothes, but Mom would refuse to wear them and hide them away. Rose would wear things until they were beyond worn out, so Mac learned to throw things out or hide the old things in the garbage so that Rose would not find them. One day, Grandma fell in front of her house, and the neighbors called the paramedics. Grandma had a bruised face and a black eye, but did not remember the fall. Linda would make visits from Wisconsin to give Mac some relief, but this at times confused Rose even more and made her more fractious after Linda had left.
In late 1999, the family determined that Rose could use permanent live-in assistance, and Linda, her daughter, and Jim, her son-in-law, sold their house in Wisconsin and moved in to care for her. I soon joined them. I truly enjoyed hearing all her old stories and the process of getting to know the quiet hostess who had cared for us all as children. It was only fitting that we should do the same for her.
In the autumn of 2004, Rose suffered a bad fall which left her hospitalized. When she came home, a series of wonderful homecare workers came into her life, doing all the little things for her and providing daily and nightly assistance in matters beyond the scope of the family’s expertise. In December, she suffered a stroke, and was placed in a rehabilitation facility. At Plum Tree, she was the resident trivia champion. She was then transferred to Crescent Villa, where she spent her final days.
Rose thrived at Crescent Villa; her last two months were filled with a miraculous rejuvenation of sorts. She enjoyed all the people and health care workers there, and they enjoyed her every bit as much. Her sense of humor reemerged, even though she was wheelchair-bound now, and unable to get around without assistance. The night before her final stroke, she was eating dinner, and one of the C.N.A.s noticed that she was touching her mouth frequently. When Priti, the C.N.A., went over to investigate, she found out that Rose was wiggling a loose tooth. Rose looked up at Priti from her wheelchair, and said, “If I put it under my pillow, do you think I’ll get some money?” The two of them then began to hoot with laughter.
Grandma’s last days were spent with family members and friends surrounding her bedside. Although bed-ridden and unable to speak, Rose intently listened to those around her. Pastor Jon, his wife Pat, and I entertained her by singing the old hymns that she loved so well, as well as some of the old Irish ballads that Grandpa used to sing. Grandma always loved music and having people around her. She most enjoyed the times when family and friends would chatter back and forth.
One night, after everyone had left, Dendra and I stayed with her to keep vigil, knowing that her life on earth would soon come to a close. We were laughing and chatting softly, or so I thought, when suddenly we realized that she was awake and alert. We told her funny stories, and, although she couldn’t speak, she smiled often and watched us whenever we moved around the room. She even took a few spoonfuls of food. This was the last time we saw her conscious.
On Monday, March 7, 2005, Rose passed away quietly and peacefully at 3:10 in the afternoon. It was the first fine spring day after weeks of rain, a fitting day for the passing of a woman who loved to be outside so much.