JOURNAL: Espionage

I just downloaded a nifty little tool called a "Sitemeter." It can be found at the very bottom of my blog page. It is rather fun to know how many people are looking at my page...Haha, I see you!

I finished the unit on marriage and dating (Korea style), and I was very pleased with how well things went. I got a nice view of where the "new" generation is coming from. I gave each conversation group the same questionaire, and divided the men from the women to prevent war. Some things are universal, but some things are most definately cultural. Here are my findings, completely unscientific, of course.

What Korean Men Want in a Date: pretty, funny, slim; easy to talk to
What Korean Men Want in a Wife: good cook, good finacial manager, good worker, good mother

One man (married) said that being "like a mother" is important. When I asked him what he meant (thinking it was a lost-in-translation moment) he said that men often act like children...!

What Korean Men Hate About Women: shopping, too talkative

One young man said that his girlfriend was always talking, "but sometimes, I just want it to be silent!"

What Korean Women Want in a Date: "taller than me," handsome, slim, money, sense of humor
What Korean Women Want in a Husband: share chores, good communicator, money

When these results were communicated to the young men, the stunned look on a few male faces turned to disgust. "Women want a prince," one guy scoffed.

What Korean Women Hate About Men: public spitting, smoking, do not talk enough/listen, "they take up too much room"

When I asked about the last one, the women explained further. When women get on public transit, or sit next to a man anywhere, the man tends to lean back, stretch out his knees, and squash the women next to him into a small space. Korean women don't usually fight back. When this happens to me, I just hold my space rigidly, but it is not the custom here, apparently.

I carefully avoided "sex"-related questions, but the subject did come up indirectly a few times. We did some comparison between American and Korean culture; I gave the students the article I posted earlier in October, as well as an American survey article. I also played the quintessential Meatloaf song, "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" to give them a feel for teen romance. I also gave them some idiomatic (to catch your eye) and even current slang words (drunk dialing, making out, etc.) relating to dating and relationships. The baseball analogy (first base, second base, home run, etc.) did elicit a few giggles, and in one case, tears of laughter (I feel your pain, bro?).

There were no big surprises in my survey results. What did alarm me, however, was the shallowness of some of the younger womens' responses. Given that many of the women will be married right after college, these tendencies are alarming. Perhaps it is a cultural thing, or perhaps it is immaturity, but not one of the men or women discussed important character traits in their future spouse question. They were all focused on money, labor division, etc. Interestingly enough, the married members of the class were more in depth about these sorts of things. I did notice that women in general are very focused on external beauty, wealth, and status. Of course, this is a universal thing in many ways, but it also poses a difficulty for the men in this country. They are very traditional-minded about women - good cook and all. How on earth do any of them ever get along? I think many hearts will break when the honeymoon is over.

One young man (single), however, spoke very eloquently about physical beauty,"If she is funny and intelligent, I will like her. What she looks like is not important to me." The women did not appear to believe him, but I could tell he was sincere. The woman he marries will be a very fortunate woman...(Why can't I find one like that in MY age group?!)

What also struck me is that many of the simpler questions caused problems for the class. This was a big cultural difference; no one had given much thoguht to things such as "what makes a good marriage," "good spouse," "fun date," etc. Is this part of the "group" mentality, somehow? If I gave the same survey to a group of college/post-graduate Western students, these questions would cause no mental anguish; instead, I would likely get 26 different answers!

Dr. John Grey, of the now infamous "Mars and Venus" self-help books, states that the biggest complaint that men have about women is that women try to change men. The biggest complaint that women have about women is thta men don't listen. The class agreed heartily with these statements; this, at least, is very universal.

NOTE: Aaaargh...Pardon My Dust

Dear Readers,

I am having some technical difficulties with both my computer and the Internet. I have posted a photo essay, but for some reason it reverted to "October 12," the day I began it. Yes, it has taken this long to get it up due to technical problems. I have lost the blog entirely once, and parts of it at various times due to random Internet "blackouts." Look under "October 12, 2006," and you will see my semi-finished blog...well, a draft of it. I cannot get the editing mode to work correctly. Grrrrrr.......

Pardon my dust.

Emerald Lady