Generally speaking, Seoul is not an easy city to multi-task in. Food, for example, must be purchased by the average person in fits and spurts. You can buy meat, for example, at the butcher, bread at the bakery, and vegetables from the vegetable stands. Limited amounts of these items can be found at so-called convenience stores or small "shupo makkets," but I wouldn't depend on anything being in stock. My local market only carries pig meat and its assorted by-products, for example. If you are brave, you can frequent the farmer's markets, but good luck in communicating. Of course, if you crave American food, you can buy it at the rather expensive Hannam Market (which caters to diplomats) or, as many of my coworkers do, buy a year's supply of Goldfish Crackers at Costco. My main point though, is that everything in this city is very specialized. The exception, as I learned, is women's health.
During the last week of November, I accompanied a friend to Dr. S's Women's Clinic (name changed to protect the innocent) for some test results. Dr. S specializes in ob/gyn matters, and her name came up through a complex web of referrals (as I understand it). The expat community in Seoul is very spread out, but word of mouth gets around. You see, women's matters are not generally an area of specialty considered necessary by the average Korean woman because they are simply not discussed. Some of the information that does leak out can be very silly. Dog and cat meat, for example, increases sexual stamina among older men. Jumping up and down after the act keeps a girl from getting pregnant. And, my favorite one, compliments of one of the sixth graders, is that teenagers are not physically capable of getting pregnant. He genuinely did not believe that Maya Angelou got pregnant at age 16.
The abortion rate has been (rather extremely, I'd say) estimated to be about 80% among sexually active women (estimated conservatively at about 30% single females). The irony is, birth control is easily obtained OVER THE COUNTER. No prescription is needed. Purely on a fact-finding mission, I asked about and verified this at my local pharmacy. Of course, the ladies behind the counter have been giving me the fish eye since then; in restrospect, I probably should have gone to a pharmacy where I was not known! I was made to feel guilty just by asking the question (they know I am unmarried). Korean men eschew condoms (I will have to take that one on faith!)so it is highly likely that women do have to make visits of shame. A rather Westernized Korean man I know spoke of a certain clinic at Jeju Island (a resort) where dark limosines carrying certain well-known Korean female celebrities have been known to drop off their eye-shaded passengers...
Dr. S's office was very pleasantly lighted, with plenty of reading material and soothing classical music piping over the loudspeakers. The waiting area chairs and couches were surprisingly comfortable, and, after a very late night and early morning, I found myself fighting to stay awake. The nurses and receptionists, as well as the doctor, spoke excellent English, and seemed to be exceptionally well-organized. This is a rarity in Korean health care; more often than not, it is barely organized chaos!
The office was on an upper floor of a well-maintained, but older building near Hannam market. Upon gazing out the window, I discovered that the neighborhood, though quiet and dignified by day, clearly had a shadier side. The telltale double barberpoles were in clear evidence along the side street, and across the street was a rather loudly (in English and Hang'ul) advertised sign for an STD clinic. "Well, we are near Itaewon," I thought.
After exhausting my resources with the magazines and newspaper on the table, I idly gazed around the room for something to do. Suddenly, my eyes stopped. Amazed, I moved over to the window to get a better look at the literature that had arrested my eyes. "Botox," I read. The pamphlet, upon a quick scan, gave a list of the healthy and positive benefits of the procedure, and urged it upon everyone who was feeling a bit elderly. Upon futher examination, I discovered that the ob/gyn clinic also offered Botox treatments.
"Well, I guess it is not so crazy an idea; after all, it is mostly women who have that procedure done, but it did seem like an odd combination of multi-tasking:
"Get your PAP Smear, STD test, and Botox all in one visit! No pain no gain!"
Maybe it is better to get it all done in one shot, so to speak. Of course, the clinic also deals with prenatal care, so a little postpartum Botox might be just the ticket after a long night up with the baby..."
As I sat there sleepily contemplating these thoughts, my friend came out to wait some more. As we sat there, blearily staring at the newspaper, a commotion entered the lobby. The strangest looking Korean woman I have ever seen burst loudly into the room, accompanied by a more sedately attired younger woman.
The first thing that impressed me about the woman was that she was very tall. Her face was shaded by a large cloche-style hat with a crimson geranium sewn to the crown. Her extreme height was easily explained by her slender, excessively spiked high-heeled boots. The woman had the longest, and most beautiful legs I have ever seen on a woman. Her extraordinary limbs were thinly covered by black fishnet hose, her skirt barely decently covering her elongated expanse of leg. Her blouse was cut low, but just on the right side of decent. A fringe of frizzy and poorly bleached blonde hair peaked out from underneath her headgear. Her hat slipped a little, and I saw with some amazement that she was far from a young woman, moreover, she was probably in her fifties. Her skin had the tight, too-many-face-lifts aspect to it. She held an ice-pack carelessly to her nose. At first, I thought the ice pack was for a beating, given the woman's obvious profession. It later occured to me that she probably had a Botox treatment. A loud and course voice boomed out from her triangular-shaped face, in broken English,
"Men only want one thing, I tell you. Did I tell you what that bastard did to me last night...."
The woman proceded to list a long list of all things wrong with her "boyfriend," men, and the world to her long-suffering companion. The performance was clearly partially for our benefit, as much of the monologue was rendered in English - Lord, knows, she was loud enough. At one point, the woman took the "Entertainment" section of the paper, and began to regale her "audience" with reading the Sex Advice column, and chortling loudly and ostentatiously over a 70-year-old man who "perfumed the bed sheets" every night to get his wife in the mood. My friend and I looked at each other sideways, but then had to look away from each other to avoid giggling over this spectacle. She switched fluidly from ghetto English to Korean, often starting sentences in one language and finishing in the other. She finally quieted down, then went to the nurse manning the phones. She said something low and meaningful in Korean; I would have given anything to know what she said, because the erstwhile receptionist turned bright red and burst out in incredulous laughter. It must have been pretty choice to make an ob/gyn nurse blush...
My friend went back to her appointment, and I was left alone in the lobby with this strange woman. She clearly wanted someone to notice her; I am not sure why I held back. There were so many questions I wanted to ask her - about her profession, her life, Korean men, Korean women...Here was my opportunity to find out from an insider. Somehow, though, I lacked the courage. Moreover, a great pity overtook my senses, as I contemplated the great trials that this woman must have undergone in her profession. I was overwhelmed with a great love for this sad and lonely creature. Inside I knew, however, that speaking to her would only feed her need for attention, and I did not relish the thought of entangling myself in the life of one pursuing "Mrs. Warren's Profession." I stayed silent, and avoided eye contact.
Instead, I turned my focus to her companion. The younger woman, as I said earlier, was sedately and somberly dressed, all in black. Her face had a slightly hard-edged look, especially around the eyes, but other than that there was nothing remarkable about her appearance. Althoguh clearly embarrased by the older woman, there was a strange sort of long-suffering respect in her attitude. When the older woman got too loud, the younger woman spoke soothingly to her. She made sure her charge was comfortable and well-cared-for by the staff.
The young woman had an air of assurance normally associated with the well-educated. Her English was exceptionally good as she conversed with the nurses, so I was rather startled when she referred to the woman as "Oma." I thought I had misheard, so I began eavesdropping on their conversation. The older woman was rattling on, albeit in a quieter voice, to the young woman. The woman looked slightly embarrassed, so I can only imagine the theme of the conversation. Then I heard it again, this time in shocked English,
"Mama!"
Apparently, the older woman was the mother of the younger woman. There was very little trace of the older in the younger generation's face, except about the hardened eyes. Botox and plastic surgery, presumably, had erased all other traces between this strange mother-daughter team. I wondered what her father looked like, as she was very pretty in her own natural way, then wondered if she even knew who her father was. My pity shifted to the younger woman, who was clearly the caretaker of the elder. She will probably never be able to marry. Koreans children take care of their parents at all costs. Seldom do they abandon them to public charity, although in extreme cases, it does happen. Still, what a life she must have!
Botox pushing aside, the clinic itself provides excellent care. The doctor gives well-explained literature out on most female-related illnesses and concerns, and, I have been told, very detailed and instructive information to her patients. I was further assured when I saw many waygooks coming in and out of her clinic with satisfaction on their faces. I have the doctor's business card, and have no hesitation about making my regular check-up appointment in March. If anyone besides family and friends staying in the Seoul area wants her information, feel free to send me an email and I will give it to you.
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