NOTES: The Baby Story

This is a continuation of my earlier discussion of sex education in Korea, so bear with me. I have done a bit of research, and found an older article on the subject at:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2003/03/14/MN19286.DTL

I was basically right on target, except for a few details. First of all, Korea still has one of the lowest AIDS rates in Asia. The strain is specifically known as "the Korean" strain, and is being spread almost exclusively through sexual contact. Needle-sharing is uncommon, and so is homosexuality. Although initially introduced by a sex worker who plied her trade on a U.S. military base, it is now spread from Korean to Korean.

Condom use is still not high; I have been told that this is because the Korean brands are made of very thick and uncomfortably tight latex. The Korean men I have spoken to (they will only talk about it if they are drunk) say they prefer to buy American brands, even though they are a little too big...I have no direct experience of this, so I will have to take their word for it.

Here is an exerpt from the above-mentioned article:

Changing attitude toward sex threatens South Korea
Growing promiscuity, lack of education may lead to
increase in AIDS, experts sayBobby McGill, Chronicle Foreign Service

Friday, March 14, 2003

Health officials say reluctance to use condoms,
a rise in infections among homosexuals, an increase
in young Koreans' sexual activities and lack of
information about contraception are likely factors
that could lead to a significant increase in HIV
infections in future years.

"Korea needs to be shocked by someone famous with
the disease, like the United States with Rock Hudson,"
said Kwon. "Maybe then parents will see the importance
of talking about it at home."

The government now offers a Web site with AIDS
information, a 24-hour hot- line and free AIDS tests.
The National Institute of Health also plans to install
18,000 condom vending machines at major nightspots
throughout the country and at "every possible location
we can," said Kwon.

Recognizing the reluctance of parents to address AIDS,
sexuality and especially contraception, a government
campaign encourages middle school and high school
teachers to lead candid discussions with their students
about the consequences of unprotected sex.

Starting at the middle school level, students are taught
about abstinence and safe sex practices. But critics
say the depth of classroom discussions depends on the
willingness of individual teachers to broach the subject.
Students say some would rather show anatomical charts
and tame videos than preside over a frank discussion.

Saets Byul Choi, a 16-year-old high school student from
the industrial city of Ansan, just south of Seoul,
recalled a recent video shown at her school.

"It was about a man and a woman who fall in love and get
married. They get into the bed fully dressed and the
screen goes black," she said. "When they return to the
screen, the woman has a big stomach."

Yet, clearly, babies do happen. It is spring in Seoul, and babies are almost as abundant as the spring flowers. Women carry their babies in a blanket sling, rather than a baby carrier. These bundles of joy are just that; they grow like tumors on hapless female backs. They appear to be comfortable, and flirt with passing strangers over their mothers' (and grandmothers') backs. I get lots of stares and an occasional grin on the subway when their mothers are otherwise distracted.

Trendy mothers carry their babies in front-slings, as was popular in the mid-eighties in America. Father's carry young children in their arms more often, although the less dignified (and typically younger) fathers also use the front sling. I have never seen a baby carrier in Korea, though I do see the occasional "pram."

Today I got to hold one of the little Korean babies. I went to my usual sandwich shop, and one of the employee's relatives brought her baby in. As it was a little slow, the baby got passed around among the employees. Even Mr. Pak, who can be a bit stiff and formal, picked up the child and crowed at it. I finished my lunch, picked up my bag, and walked out the door.

The mother, who appeared to be very young, handed the baby off to her sister. I said "Anyung" (hello) to the baby in passing, who appeared to be about three months old, and was startled when he gave me a toothless grin. I put my finger out, and was surprised at the grip the little guy had. He was apparently older than I thought, because he reached for me. Before I could say a word, he got passed to me.

Now, an American mother would never pass a baby to a random stranger, especially one who was not expecting it. Fortunately, he was strong and able to hold himself upright and move about. I wondered how old he actually was; his mother was very small so perhaps he was just undersized. After "making friends," I bounced him around and "flew him" gently (which got another toothless grin)up and down. He loved this, and so did his grateful mother (who looked very tired).

I have not held a baby for over a year, and it was bittersweet for me. I find it very painful, and try to avoid it because I may never have one of my own; the thought hurts me more than I can bear. At the same time, it felt so good to hold a new life in my own hands. Yesteday, I held a puppy at the subway station; today I held a person. Of course, the little kids at work "tackle hug" me; Korean children are very affectionate and demonstrative. It is not the same, however. Am I seeing "dancing babies" already? Or is it just spring?