JOURNAL: On Cellphones and Kissing

CELLPHONES

Celphones (han-du-pones in Korean) are ubiquitous, and quite complicated. I have no idea how to text-message, as the instructions are all in Korean, but have received them from a few people. I have a camera on my phone, and, as I recently discovered, a video camera. The problem is, I have no idea how to download them, or transfer them, or whatever. There is a prominent web service provided with the phone ("Nate"), but no English instructions to go with it. My photos are permanently stuck in my phone...Wow, I never thought I would say that...

I love the fact that I am not bound by any contract...or so I thought. I pay 10,000 Won for about 200 minutes, but, as I just found out, there is a catch. At the end of the month, if you do not pay another 10,000 Won, they suspend your service "at the customers request" (how polite) even if you have leftover minutes. The leftover minutes are cummulative, but you still have to pay what amounts to a monthly "fee" of $10. I am not complaining too loudly, as this is still a good bargain, but I wish SK Telecom had told me this information! I now have to search for a local branch where people speak English, as my cell phone is now nonfunctional. To add insult to injury, my landline is now not working - I suspect this is due to the changeover to eight digit phone numbers, in which case my old phone number is now null and void. No one has given me a new phone number, so this is quite frustrating.

KISSING
After observing some Korean television shows, and some discreet "dark places" lovering, I have discovered that Koreans do not know how to kiss. In fact, the way they do kiss looks quite painful. I was musing on this phenomenon whie observing an ad for a sappy Korean soap opera at my favorite, relatively American-style sandwish shop (aside from having eggs and half a head of iceburg in every sandwich). The boy braced himself on top of the girl, in a non-sexual, "cute" way, and proceeded to smash her nose and lips in with his own corresponding parts. His nose ground into hers as he smashed their lips together - I am sure her inner lip was painfully crushed against her teeth. I suspect he may have even drawn blood. There was no movement of heads or lips, just a steady, hard pressure. I cringed for her.

I have observed this in stolen moments not for public view (I seem to stumble on it quite a bit), as P.D.A. is strictly improper, and wonder if anyone asked the question all American adolescents ponder, "Where does the nose go?" I do not see French-kissing (though perhaps that is reserved for behind doors), which is probably a good thing if no one knows where the nose goes...Overrated, anyway - imagine it with kimchi breath! Actually, Koreans are obsessed with oral hygiene; given their diet of strong-smelling (but not necessarily unpleasant) foods.

I have found that many Koreans I have spoken too are, sensually speaking, stuck permanently in middle school, even some of the married ones. The topic is not discussed at all, really, but when it is, it seems to be in hushed tones. Forget sexuality - it is not talked about at all. It is often "Brady Bunch" meets "Sex in the City" in most instances. I actually like this, but on the few occasions the subject comes up, have been put in the awkward position of keeping my knowledge to myself. Most of my sexual knowledge, just for the record, comes from books, public health articles, and listening to people, not from extensive experience.

I do worry sometimes about the contact with Western men. More than one Korean woman I have spoken to has expressed shock when her American/Canadian boyfriend asked her to move in with him...without benefit of marriage. Some of them think that moving in is exactly that - they are not thinking about what usually goes with it. I sometimes want to strangle certain men when they speak of this charming naivete as a good way to "get laid." It's bad enough when they try to pull this on American girls.